So much has happened since I last posted, so much that I feel I have lived an entire other life in just the span of a few weeks. I have gone from struggling to catch up to the fast pace of a busy student life, to pushing my life to the limit, giving it no time to pause.
Life has been so so so interesting, I really don't know where to begin.
Friends are important.
I don't know how on earth I survived a few of my years in high school trying to avoid people.
Don't follow my mistake.
If it wasn't for the few times I caught up with friends during my weeks at Uni I don't think I would be 'open enough' to write to the net. I would have retreated into my cocoon once again.
Uni has been enjoyable, but not easy.
I have not been on top of my workload as I was telling all my friends that I would be. That is still something I am trying to figure out everyday.
Why is something so simple in theory so hard to pull off?
In all honesty, I have been barely surviving.
As dramatic as it sounds, it's the truth.
It's probably due to the fact that I didn't take any action on my assignments/tests early on and instead wasted so much time and left it all to the last minute.
It has then resulted in the past weeks of me meeting deadlines that weren't meant to be met within a few hours.
Then there's never enough time for anything anymore, I try so hard to force time to expand with very little success.
There's no room to breathe.
"I could have been doing this yesterday."
That thought repetitively went through my head when I finally got around to around to taking action.
I couldn't stop kicking myself.
"Why on earth didn't I do this yesterday?"
I then come to realisation about how silly this all is.
It always always always takes failure for me to come to realisation of where I went wrong.
It's not like I'm actually given a task I cannot possibly accomplish in the time given.
It's actually really easy; I just make it hard.
Why can't I just learn?
As a result of all this, I feel it takes all meaning out of life.
At this point, all I'm trying to do is to do what I'm 'supposed to do' cause I've convinced myself that's what it means to live... but in reality, I'm barely living, I'm only surviving...
There is no way to live when we're on the edge of survival.
We need to step up our game and embrace life once again.
As I think about it more, many people are only surviving.
They 'live' just to get from day to day, to sustain themselves, to do the things they're supposedly meant to do. They're only trying
to stay alive.
But if you ask me, I don't think we should be trying to stay alive at all.
Trying to stay alive shouldn't be something we try to do cause we should be already doing so subconsciously. And as a result we should be able to do so so so much more than just stay alive.
That's the part where we're actually living.
We don't have to worry about staying alive, because we're so sure we're actually living.
Until next time~
Underneath - Ocean is Theory
While We're Young - Ocean is Theory
i feel you bro
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