Essence of Grace

Hey guys,
I have to admit I've been a bit quiet lately. With all the things going on around me, I haven't really been able to find time or motivation to write up a post despite the many things I would like to share.

Well anyways, I've managed to gather the motivation now so here goes.
Recently, I went through one of the most both mentally & physically challenging moments I've had in a while. If I may say so, it was beyond challenging.

Rise

Hey guys, so today I was just listening to Colton Dixon's new album, A Messenger, & even though the album in its entirety is amazing, one song really stood out to me.

It goes by the name of "Rise". 

When I first heard it, I was just purely amazed at Colton Dixon's musical talent in singing that song.

The Trailer at the End

Well the past few days have been quite a ramble for me. With school life, badminton & church commitments I was already very busy. But then on Thursday I was rung up & asked if I was interested in taking up a Census job.

I wanted it at that time, but at the same time I knew that it was a huge commitment & wasn't going to be a small job. With all the other things that kept me so busy, I was really unsure about it. But in the end I still took it up.

The Apple of the Eye

There are many things of this world that make us stumble & once again fall short of His glory~

Most of the time, these certain things are actually not bad things at all.

And the other times, they're bad things that are cloaked to look good.

God is Good, 'nuff said.

Every word we could ever come up with to describe God's greatness will always be such an indefinite understatement to how great He really is~

Good is a very vague word.
It was one of the words my teacher in intermediate 'banned' from our writing. She would make us think of other words in place of good. Amazing, wonderful, awesome, fabulous and the list can go on. But you've got the idea.

Scars Remain, Wounds Reopen

I haven't blogged in quite awhile now.

I've been living in my own bubble for the past week.

It seems I have made comfort in keeping to myself.

"I know who I am inside.. I'm perfectly broken"

There's always one of those times that you do something so bad, you just can't see it being undone, you just can't see any forgiveness happening at all. You become so annoyed at yourself, how could you have done such a thing, what were you thinking, "what's wrong with me". You feel extremely guilty, you feel your heart drop, you may even feel like it's the end of you. It's happened, it can't be undone now, you did it, and everyone's hurt now because of it. They'll always remember what you did, it will never be forgotten, never be forgiven.

There's so much more to this..

I thought I just had to blog again today, since Sunday seems to be my "blogging day" & also I'm not sure if I will be able to blog for a while. Got three exams next week, one really heavy one, then have one more heavy one the week after. But after that I should have a bit more free time, get to actually enjoy my "study leave".

Spirit is Willing, Body is Weak

"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak." - Matthew 26:41

There are many mistakes in my life i have continuously committed over and over again. I would really like to share with you some little things I have learnt so that you may hopefully not stumble like me.

Lately, I've had the urge of committing those same mistakes, but a stronger urge, has kept me from doing so. This urge is undoubtedly the Holy Spirit & I truly thank God for the strength to overcome my own flesh.

Throughout these trails, I've had so many strong desires to make good use of my life. Such as:
Thinking of different & more ways to bond with God
Planning a better & more effective life of workouts
Getting the motivation to study hard & ace exams
Learn different various skills. (athletics training, learn a martial art properly)
Get into a prestigious university
~and the list goes on.
But guess what...
None of these happened, or will probably happen... how great.
Despite my strong desire, my lazy self won in the end.

There have also been many temptations around me, some new ones that pop up daily, & some that have been a burden for as long as i can remember. Sometimes i just don't understand, as i'm so desperate to not fall again for the 32349890324th time, every time, it "just happens" again. I know very well i cannot overcome it myself, i pray about it, ask God for the strength to overcome it, but no. The flesh is too weak.

Sometimes it seems God is allowing us to fall into temptation, we pray & pray for the strength to overcome it, but we never seem to get it. We then end up falling again, & gradually digging a deeper hole.. eventually the hole may become so deep, our flesh cannot take how far down it's fallen.

Pray with conviction! If you're going to ask God for help, but you really don't believe you can do it, you're just kidding yourself. However great this burden may be, God can & will definitely help you through it. Have some faith.

Alert the flesh. From my experiences, when i let myself become extremely tired & screw up my mind by overworking it, that's when i'm most susceptible to temptation. Solution? Get more sleep, rest the mind more, the mind will be more alert, & the flesh will be able to fight temptation with more desire. (Cold showers help haha~)

Have you ever planned something then had a feeling that it was wrong? But your flesh just wanted it, it just felt like an awesome plan at the time, but it still felt a tinsy bit wrong? That's a mini battle between spirit & flesh right there. Learn to surrender the flesh to the spirit. The spirit knows what's right, it's permanent, but the flesh is part of this world & it's pleasures. Really make an effort to listen to the spirit, don't turn your ear way from it.

As I've learnt, the hard way, God's plan for my life is far more superior than my own desires. I may be able to make my own desires happen at times, but in the end, all that happens is that i get hurt & i realize how far I've fallen from God again.

I also have to confess I've been completely addicted to this song since it came out.

Disciple - Draw The Line

"This is where i draw the line 

this is the where the old me dies 

light a match, let it burn, kiss it goodbye, 

giving up what i was 

this is where i draw the line"

It's not too late to surrender yourself to God, to give your life up for a greater purpose. You'll be amazed at how much stronger God can make you, how helpful the Holy Spirit's guidance is, & how much more control you'll have over your flesh.

May your body be alert & willing to the spirit's guidance,
Until next time.
Godbless~