A New Direction

I'm about to write this with no direction or inspiration whatsoever.
I just want to write.

Well it seems appropriate to address the past and future of this blog as I feel what I wrote in the past was due to a conviction I no longer have.

One truth I can say about all the past posts was they were somewhat "censored".
I was never completely honest.

Whether it be candy coating my experiences to make myself not look so bad, avoiding talking about the hard truth by talking about something 'fluffy and nice', or just downright telling lies, I personally want the future of this blog to be downright honest.

Well I probably just made all the blog posts before this one sound like it was complete bullshit. Maybe it was? But I've been told some of you were inspired, so I guess there was some degree of authenticity to them.

Well I don't know where to start, what do you guys want to know?

I can say I feel very free these days.

I don't wake up and read my Bible daily anymore. All the obligations with that are gone:
- people expecting me to do so
- it being a 'good thing' and smiled upon
- it being something I should do, just because
- because my parents expect me to
and the list can go on...

I don't care if my actions, words, or thoughts are "christian".
When I talk to my Christian friends, I don't put on a face and try to direct everything to the "glory of God". My choices or decisions aren't affected by them being christian or not, like the type of music I listen to, things I read, or places i go. My thoughts are no longer burdened by the thought if this is 'God's will' or not.

I am corrupt.
I have probably made so many more mistakes and slipped up so much more since I decided to take this path. And I'm almost glad I do, it's so much more real.

I would finish off with some 'good' such as "me being able to learn from my mistakes all the more and be a better person", cause that's what I would used to do, and that's not the point of this post.

I just want to be real.
I want to do what I want.

I don't want to post what I think you guys will want to read and sugar coat it so you're more likely to be inspired. I want to write about what I want to write about.

Until next time~

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