Undeserved Blessings

Sometimes, I smear my life with guilt.

I knowingly turned my back to God, even when He calls for me to go to Him.

When He blesses me, I take it for granted, then when He asks me for a favour, I spit in His face.

He still continues guide me through life though, but I push Him away and walk my own way.

At this point I know I don't deserve anything good, I deserve to be disciplined, I deserve the storm, I deserve to be punished.

Then at these times, God blesses me.

I'm completely like..

Whhaaaaattt???

Why would He bless me?
Wouldn't it be way more worth it to bless another who actually "deserves" the blessing?

God is really hard to understand at times.

Our minds are extremely small compared to His.

Alot of the time, we cannot even comprehend what God does in our lives.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord.

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. - Isaiah 50:8-9

In our eyes, we may see that bad deeds must be punished & good rewarded.
But God sees different, whether someone does good or bad, He loves.

It's truly amazing how He's able to do this, especially when we continuously sin against Him.

We can really learn from this. We should pray for a heart to love no matter what may happen to us.

We also shouldn't take our blessings for granted, we don't deserve any blessings from God, yet our life.

Everything we're given, we never deserved.

It is ALL by God's grace we are, we have, & we can be.

Think about what it'd feel like if your dad just started handing you $100 notes everyday all of a sudden. At first you'd be like, "woah, thanks so much dad, why?" You'll definitely know you did nothing to deserve it.

Then as the days turn to years, you'd probably start "getting used to it". I'm sure you'll start taking it for granted. When your dad stops giving you $100 for one day, you might even start to question & get angry at him.

Go right back to the start.

Where you were nothing, and God made you something.

Learn to be content with your life & every blessing God pours out in it.

Then hopefully blessings won't be taken for granted, but instead our hearts filled with gratitude.

Also, when life completely caves in, remember how God's ways are so much higher than ours, & everything He does is for the good of us.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28

Until next time,

Godbless~

To My Surprise - Eowyn

Dug Deep Down

I have been digging a hole for the past..
maybe four years now.
Imagine four years worth of hole digging, this hole must be pretty darn deep by now, and it sure is.
It has started to become so deep, it has recently started to feel like my home, where I was meant to be all along.

When I first came across this digging site, there was a strong desire for me to dig.
At the same time, I knew it was wrong, but I was so curious, I wanted to dig a little & see what treasures I may be able to uncover. As my spade made contact with the first layer of soil, I felt guilt, I knew I wasn't supposed to be here.
This is the biggest mistake I've ever made.

But I did find treasures, earthly treasures.
They were so irresistible, my flesh couldn't resist at that time, my spirit was too weak to fight the temptation. Each time I went back to the hole for a dig, I felt no guilt, I just felt pleasure, temporarily.

Then one day, while I wasn't digging, I found the key to permanent pleasure.
Jesus. He's our real joy, He's the real deal. He can really give us eternal pleasure, unlike the world's, which keep us craving for more.
Then why have I still been digging the hole?
Well I didn't fully commit all of me to Him, I didn't fully trust in the pleasure He can most definitely give. There was still parts of me that were reluctant & still attached to the world.
So soon, the world got the best of me, & I searched for pleasure from the hole once again.

This time around though, every time I stopped digging, I knew I'd sinned against my Father. Each time, I felt guilt, I hated myself for going back to the hole, I confessed to God.
As I kept digging, going deeper, I got more frustrated. Sometimes I was even angry with God for allowing me to come back to the hole, when clearly I had started it myself.
This kept going on & on, sometimes my spirit was able to keep the flesh from digging deeper for a long period of time, but to this day, the hole continues to get deeper gradually.

I'm extremely desperate to get out of this hole, but it feels I've gone so deep that when I look up, I can't even see a speck of blue sky. At this point, nearly all guilt has left me, the hole has become my home.
It feels the only way left is down, that I'm closer to the bottom now.
It seems Satan has won me over..
No! I won't let it.

This is the closest I've come to telling anyone about this disgraceful hole I've been digging. I know it'll help if i do tell someone, but I've been so ashamed of it, it has never been an option at all.
I really hope one day, I may be able be completely free of this hole, I hope that my flesh may be willing to destroy the spade.

I also hope that, as you read this, you may be aware of how vulnerable our flesh is against the temptations of the world. If you may be digging a hole too, God has definitely shown us a way out, we just need to be willing to lay down every single bit of ourselves.
I assure you, the pleasure of being in a relationship with our Creator is so much more worth it, & you will never regret knowing Him.

 Start Again - Red

God is full of grace & mercy. It's amazing.

We can definitely start again with Him.

He will forgive us, it's a matter if you're willing to repent.

If you feel like you're at your end right now, you aren't.

God will let you start again, just turn to Him humbly & ask.

Godbless~

The Oath

It was another nice sunny day as I walked to school sometime in the year of 2010, my second year of high school. I was having my usual talk with God, feeling His beauty through His creation. This is when I swore an oath that I have been bounded by ever since.

I have never told anyone this, but I have to admit I tended to end up liking girls pretty easily then. I had always wanted to feel loved by another (other than my family) since.. when i was quite actually young. Having experienced the first year of high school, I knew I was going to get "desperate" sooner or later & make some extremely bad decisions.

That's when I swore the oath.
Something moved my heart that day, I said something along the lines of,
"God, I'm going to swear an oath, I promise I won't get into a relationship for all my days while I'm at high school."
I meant those words from the bottom of my heart when I said them that day.
It may really sound stupid, & to some extent, I actually do look back sometimes & think to myself, "really Jono, was there any point to that?"
Well there definitely was!

Swearing an oath to God is not something to be looked on lightly, I basically made a promise to the Creator of the universe, the one true God Himself.

After I swore this oath, on many occasions, I tried to "get around it" or even sometimes tried to break it.
Now this is where I'm glad I made this promise to God.
Every time I made this attempt, God stepped in. It would never go well, I would slam right into a brick wall, I would be forced to rethink & confess that I'd done wrong.
Well this shows how strong an oath to the LORD can be. It also strengthened my relationship with God.

Year after year, one brick wall after another I tried to break through, but God was & is gracious & wouldn't let me break my promise.
I have to admit, I made a promise that day, that I obviously couldn't keep.

Recently, I have been reminded of this promise & have been reflecting on my failure to keep this promise. I have been made to think, why is it so hard to keep, why am I searching for love.. when it has already been given to me?

I am loved. We are all loved.
Then why do we still so desperately search for love?

Sin.
This has caused us to forgot about the unmeasurable love we have already been given.
This has caused us to seek what we feel is love.

God loves us.
Why else would He create us, breathe life into us, even create us in His image.
Why would He send His only son, to die for us?
He definitely does love us.

Once we seal these truths into us, I can assure you, your desire for this type of love from this world will diminish.
I'm not saying we shouldn't date, or get married. Male & females getting together and being married is part of God's plan, but we shouldn't let this get in the way with our relationship with God.
Our love for God & vice-versa is the priority of our lives, the purpose of our lives.

After being forced to come to realization of these truths, I have decided I'm really really going to make a better effort in keeping my oath with God.
I know God's love for me, I know I'm loved, I know I have already been given love, I do not need to desire for love so greatly anymore.

Being bounded by this oath has also made me remember how God works in His own time.
We may really desperately want something instantly at a certain time, but a lot of the time, God knows it's not the right time. Such as how I wanted to get into a relationship, God said no, not now.
It may seem really hard to accept, but God does what's best for us, He knows what's best for us.
It is definitely worth the wait.

For Those Who Wait - Fireflight

I really hope that as you guys continue to live your lives, you may follow God's guidance, remember His love for you, & remember that it's always worth the wait, whatever you may be longing for.

Until next time,
Godbless~

Sparks of Optimism

To be honest, I have been extremely worried about getting worried lately.
The worry I'm worried about being worried about is about my CIE exams coming up in four weeks & my lack of study at the moment. I really should be worrying about them, but I have just become so lazy & carefree lately, the pressure still hasn't exactly gotten to me. On the other hand, being worried will definitely put me under pressure & cause all sorts of discomfort. What good it will do though, is give me motivation to study. Nonetheless, with four weeks to go, I said to myself "I must start in one way or another now", so this week, I have been making extra effort to stop being lazy.

Well today, like most days, I woke up with an unsatisfactory amount of sleep. I had to strive through another loooonnnnngggg school day. And at the end of the day, despite my fatigue, i forced myself to go for a swim, so I could have the satisfaction of doing something productive. That completely tired me out, & once I got home I decided to take an hour long nap. When I woke up, I was not refreshed & probably felt even more tired.
This wasn't looking good for me at all, how was i going to get anything done in a condition like that.

Despite all this, I had a sudden "spark of optimism".
In reply to a text, I was made to think positively for a split second. Just this in itself was able to completely wake me up. Something in me clicked, I regained my motivation to study, I didn't feel lazy anymore.
It's truly amazing how such little optimism can bring out so much good.

It may be very hard to stay optimistic at times, I know.. It isn't impossible though!
You also may not want to be optimistic, sometimes thinking too positive may cause more pain when things don't go too well. But just as good is always over bad, God over Satan, so is optimism over pessimism.
I just thought I'd share a few ways you that could possibly help you trigger the "spark of optimism".
- Make it a habit. If you're used to being optimistic, it shouldn't be too hard to find a little when needed.
- Have positive peers. Sometimes, what our friend's say may have never occurred in our tiny little minds & can inspire us in amazing ways. Quality friend's are important.
- Believe in yourself. You have been made of goodness, there IS goodness in you. It's just a matter if you're willing to seek it or not.
- God is good. EEEEEEVERYTHING~ God does is for our own good. (I can't stress that enough) It may not seem so most of the time at the instance, but i guarantee you, when you look back you'll be amazed at His plan for your life. 

From the Bible, in James 3:3-5 it shows how the tongue, such a small part of the body, can do such huge things. In the same way, such small goodness can fill us with passion to do great things.

"When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark."

Not only can small sparks in goodness completely change us, it can most definitely bring goodness to others too. Even though it may not seem to have benefited anyone at the time, if everyone produced little sparks that have the potential to set a whole forest on fire, this could completely "set the world on fire"

So as you guys continue to live your lives, I hope you're able to stay positive no matter what life throws at you, & be sure to share your "sparks of optimism" wherever life may take you.

Godbless~

Let The Sparks Fly - Thousand Foot Krutch
Hehe, not completely relevant, but it's the only song I could think of :P

Dating Non-Christians?

It's a nice peaceful, sunny Sunday afternoon, perfect for blogging. But i really don't know what to write about. I'm really just forcing myself to blog cause of the conditions now.
So here goes~

I'm sure for many of you, if you're a Christian (or maybe if you're not), this question has come at some point:
"Are Christians allowed to date non-Christians"?

Personally, I'm not completely against this, after hearing different opinions, discussions, & sermons about it. It's still a possibility. As long as God's will is put above all else, everything will fit into place perfectly~

Many of you will know it's not ideal to date non-Christians. But the thought of being able to bring "them" into God's family by the relationship keeps the door open.

My pastor pointed out a very good point today though. Throughout The Bible, there are countless examples of believers having relationships with non-believers. More or less all the time, it doesn't work out so well.

I'm not here to given a definite answer this question today, what I'm here to do though, is to give you insight about it from God's Word.

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?" - 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 NIV

Credit goes to my pastor for delivering the message this morning.

Hope that helped in some way or another.

Godbless~

The Girl Who Fell from the Sky

Today i successfully recorded my second piano cover. (my first being Tenth Avenue North's "Times")
This song has been one of my personal favourites for as long as i can remember.
The movie this comes from, "Laputa, Castle in the Sky" by Hayao Miyazaki is definitely my all time favourite movie.

Whenever i listen to this song, it touches me like no other song can. It's just completely amazing~

Hope you enjoy.
(feel free to subscribe to my channel)

Being "Ju Dun"

I have a kind of confession-ish thing to make.

I realized I'm never "ju dun" enough (sorry, this is the perfect canto word for it, can't put a finger on the English word for it) It means something along the lines of me having not enough initiative in a situation, & not taking advantage of it & doing what i want/need to do.
I more or less let every opportunity slip, unless there's a very legit reason to grasp the opportunity.

I always try to lay down any control whatsoever, cause I really want try make an effort to let God have control in every aspect of my life. It seems i may have "overdone" it, well actually done it wrong.
Don't get me wrong, letting God be in control of our lives is the best thing you could ever do. Your life will be completely bliss when you let put God in the "driver seat" of your life.

But even though God should be in complete control of our lives, He has given us freewill to make our own choices too.
Where I think where I went wrong is that I attempted to lay down even my freewill, tried to hand God every single aspect of my life for His control. This may sound pretty good, a perfect thing to do even. But really, i think it isn't. (sorry i write some incorrect theology following)

Let's put it this way, we're basically being a "remote control person", where God is the remote, and He literally directs our every path.
We have no control of what we want to do with our lives. It's also kind of like God playing with the whole human population as something along the lines of LEGO, or action figures. He just picks us up, does as He desires, without hearing our opinion, & when He's done, throws us back into the toy box until next time.

God is definitely not like that. He can do that nonetheless. But He chooses to give us freewill to do as we desire, with direct guidance from Him, The Bible. He doesn't "finish playing" with us, He's with us to the end. He loves us as human beings.

What kind of control should we give God then?
Basically, we should have such a relationship with Him that in everything we do, we do it out of our love for Him. Just like when we love someone, we will try to impress them in every way possible.
Also, the closer we get to God, the better we will know Him & His will for our lives, so we are able to know how to control our life the way He would want us to.
Once we love God & put Him above all else, that's when He will have control of our lives passively.

Anything that's within my control, i always hesitate before taking control. It can range from such small things as starting a conversation to deciding whether or not to take on a job. I always try to wait for a definite sign from God to do such things, but most of the time, it seems i'm by myself.
In this way, i always try make God control it, such as making the other person speak first, or making me take the job, or else i won't do anything about it.

After writing this, it still seems i really just can't be "ju dun" in alot of things. I guess i will have to sooner or later as i grow older & life continues to throw more at me. As i get closer to God & know Him better, I'm sure God I will know make me more "ju dun" in some way or another, whether in public witnessing, or contributing more to the community.

As you guys continue to live your lives, I hope you follow God's guidance and be "ju dun" whenever needed.

Until next time,
Godbless~